you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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