all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
