Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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