took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
