dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
