Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
