The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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