Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's the barista slut.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
