I want to have your abortion
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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