dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
