Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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