Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize