I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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