Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
