Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
