i just google imaged poop.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
