i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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