So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
