He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
