I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
