If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
