i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize