Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i would punch a child for taco bell
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
