You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
