so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
