Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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