Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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