I don't think brook has ever known best
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
