This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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