If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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