Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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