Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
