It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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