My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
vagina is talking i cant
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
