Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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