Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize