so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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