I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
