I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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