just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
