The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
