it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
