My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
