Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
