Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
