shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
