making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
