ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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