Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
the raccoons are back...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
