PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
