You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize