Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
