I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
