The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im holly from the hills drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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