i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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