I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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