Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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