'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
