I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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