I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
