Is it normal to miss your booty call?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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