Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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